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Archive for September 13th, 2010

Family to bury Queen Jane, court orders

Posted by Administrator on September 13, 2010

A court has ordered that the late Queen Jane be buried by her family at Mugoiri in Murang’a.

Thika senior resident magistrate Barbara Owino ruled that there was no valid marriage between the deceased and James Kariuki who had gone to court seeking orders to bury her at his Makwa village home in Gatundu North.

Immediately after the judgement, close relatives including sisters of the departed songbird broke into sobs outside the crowded courtroom.

However, advocate Ngure Mbugua representing Mr. Kariuki said he would appeal against the decision saying the court left out crucial evidence and that two key witnesses were not called to testify.

“For instance the mother of the deceased Teresia Wangeci was never called to give her evidence yet she was the first defendant in the case and no explanation was given,” said the lawyer.

The magistrate dismissed testimony by Mr Kariuki that he paid the family of the deceased Sh60,000 as dowry.

“There is no evidence to prove this and whatever may have been given cannot be distinguished from any other gifts between friends,” she said.

Regarding a video played in court showing a wedding between the two, Ms Owino said Pastor J.J. Gitahi who officiated at the ceremony was not licensed to formalize the alleged marriage and that his “capacity to do so was called to question.”

She added; “Under the circumstances no marriage took place between the deceased and the plaintiff and he can only be called a friend to her. The body belongs to her family and they have the right to inter her remains.”

The court ordered Mr. Kariuki to pay mortuary charges from July 6 to date and the family to clear the debt owed before then.

Mr Kariuki said he was shocked by the ruling which he termed as unfair to him saying he had lived with Queen Jane for close to 12 years and that “everybody knew she was my wife.”

“If pastor JJ was not licensed to conduct a weeding, then it was not my fault because he told me he was qualified. I believe I was denied justice by the court,” he told reporters after the judgement.

The family of the deceased was represented by Mugo Kamau who termed the ruling as fair saying the plaintiff did not prove any marriage existed under the Kikuyu customary law or the Christian Marriage and Divorce Act Cap 151.

Queen Jane, born Jane Nyambura Ciira, died on June 30 and her body has been lying at the Chiromo mortuary since then.

Source: Daily Nation

Posted in Kenya, Kenya Law | 2 Comments »

Obama said to plan new envoy for Kenya

Posted by Administrator on September 13, 2010

Photo | FILE. US President Barack Obama in Oval Office meeting with his special envoy to Sudan Scott Gration. Obama plans to nominate Maj Gen Gration as the next US ambassador to Kenya, the New York Times reported on Sunday.

Photo | FILE. US President Barack Obama in Oval Office meeting with his special envoy to Sudan Scott Gration. Obama plans to nominate Maj Gen Gration as the next US ambassador to Kenya, the New York Times reported on Sunday.

President Barack Obama plans to nominate his special envoy to Sudan as the next US ambassador to Kenya, the New York Times reported on Sunday.

Major General Scott Gration’s current diplomacy concerning South Sudan’s scheduled secession referendum in January is “likely to be his last major effort as special envoy,” the Times reported in a dispatch from Washington.

“Officials said Mr. Obama, with whom [General Gration] has personal ties, plans to name him as ambassador to Kenya,” the report continued.

“Administration officials said Mr Obama had long wanted to post the envoy in Nairobi, where General Gration spent part of his childhood and later helped train the Kenyan air force.”

Interviewed by telephone from Juba in South Sudan, General Gration was noncommittal about a possible posting to Nairobi.

“If the president decides to move me to another job, that’s his prerogative,” General Gration told the Times. “I’m committed to this job until I’m given a new job.”

Josh Rogin, a blogger for Washington-based Foreign Policy magazine, reported last month that General Gration was in line to replace Ambassador Ranneberger, who has held that job since 2006.

The son of Christian missionaries, General Gration spent part of his childhood in Kenya, where he became fluent in Kiswahili.
He served in the US Air Force for 32 years until his retirement in 2006. In the 1970s, General Gration spent two years as a jet fighter instructor of Kenyan Air Force pilots.

In his report last month, Mr Rogin suggested that General Gration could face “contentious” confirmation hearings in the US Senate if he is nominated as ambassador to Kenya.

Some advocacy groups in Washington have criticised General Gration on the grounds that he has been too conciliatory in his dealings with Sudan President Omar al-Bashir.

General Gration’s future role will probably hinge on the outcome of the secession vote. If Sudan dissolves into renewed civil war, he will likely be seen as having failed in his current job.

Source: Daily Nation

Posted in Kenya | Comments Off on Obama said to plan new envoy for Kenya

He gave me a gift of HIV for my 28-year loyalty

Posted by Administrator on September 13, 2010

Hello,
I’m a 50-year-old employed woman in a 28-year marriage. I have five grown up children, the last born of whom turned 20 this year.

In the 28 years that we have been together, my husband has never been responsible for his family. He has always taken his responsibilities halfheartedly; in that, if we needed, say, Sh30,000 for school fees, he would give Sh5,000 and forget about it.

He doesn’t pay rent, which is Sh10,000 monthly, but chips in small amounts from his business (which he claims earns him only Sh500 a day) to supplement our food budget.

When our first born joined Form One some years back, he was retired and spent all his golden handshake on his own, giving us only Sh10,000. We have survived on my loans from the two Saccos in which I am a member, the proceeds from which I also use to educate the children, three of whom are in university now.

I am born again, and have trusted in God to save the situation. I have never strayed from the marriage despite the hardship, and always engage my spare time in serving God.

Two months ago, I developed this persistent cough that would not respond to medication. On the doctor’s advice, I decided to take an HIV test and it turned out positive. I was devastated and wanted to inform my husband right away, but a friend advised me to try and get us (me and my husband) tested together first before discussing the issue. He has refused to do so.

The torment of living with him, trying to be nice to him, seeing him everyday and not being able to discuss this is killing me. For the last 60 days, I have tried to talk to him, but he has remained adamant that he will never go for an HIV test, and that he is ready to die.

Last night, I caught him taking medicine at midnight. I pretended to be asleep when I saw him pull out some doses from his pocket. I pray every day to God to give me the strength to last me another day.

My dilemma is; what next. Should I leave him, move away with my children?

ACC 

Hello, 

Let me start by commending you for the hard work you have put in your marriage, and particularly for the sake your children. Three are in university. Wow! You have to take pride in this. 

Twenty eight years in a relationship is a great investment, and this should also be cause for a great celebration. Let it be your source of encouragement. You have done your best to be the woman God wants you to be. 

However, several things have happened: One, you have sacrificed a lot — and this could have hardened you over the years such that you cannot respond to certain emotions. Literally, your husband’s presence is of no value to you since his share of responsibilities has always been carried by you. 

Second, you have, in many facets, assumed the role of the leader at home, especially when we consider the demands and needs of the home that you have to bear. 

As a Christian, try to model after Christ. The new knowledge you have about the infection is definitely worrying. I guess it is going to be quite hard to convince him to see a doctor. The best option? 

1 Take immediate steps to get personal help from the doctor. Get on medication because I don’t think this is the time to give up or be filled with anxiety, anger and bitterness towards him, for this will only complicate your life and shift your focus from the family. 

2 You may need to join a counselling or support team that can help you live positively. 

3 Ask him for a time off to have some talk, just the two of you. Say this firmly and confidently. You know how he views you when you mean business. If he is normally aggressive, it may not be wise to face him alone. 

During your time together, break the news of having been at the doctor’s. This step must be handled with care, and the counsellors you saw when you were being tested can help in this regard. Whichever way, you must tell him about this. Talk to him when you are sober and focused.

Leaving and walking away is not the answer. He needs help and you could as well be the person who God may use to break through this hard wall surrounding him. Your prayers, tears, and pain have been heard by the God of heaven, and I believe he will provide the way.

4 I believe your children will learn something positive about life from how you handle yourself and your husband. Their future steps in life will be guided by what they see now. They know you have sacrificed, paid heavily for them to be in college today. Give them hope as you commit yourself to hoping in the unfailing God. The outcome of your discussions will determine your next cause of action.

All the best.

********

Help! I am torn between a rock and a broke fellow

Hello,

I am 25 years old and I have been in a relationship with a man who had separated with his wife for three years. He says the separation was occasion by the wife’s disinterest in sex after the birth of their son, and that they had decided to stay off each other as they sought a formal divorce. The two love their son very much, he also says.

At the beginning of this year, I fell pregnant with him. As fate would have it, his wife changed her mind over the separation, and the man chose the wife over me, which really left me devastated as I do not have a job.

What hurts me most is that, even after trusting this man enough to conceive his child, and after all the bad things he told me about his wife when they were not in good terms, he still went back to her. The excuse he gave was that they were reuniting because of the son, as if my baby was not reason enough for him to stay with me!

Now, the wife has decided, again, that he does not want anything to do with him. For the brief term that they were together, he says they were never intimate, and that he was a fool to go back to a ‘terrorist’ instead of staying with me.

Now that they have gone separate ways, he has filed for custody of the child, even though divorce is not on the cards yet. 

After they reunited with his wife, he still kept on supporting me, even though I started dating another man who was just as jobless as me and hence could not pay my rent. That is how this other man chipped in with the finances, even though he knew I was in another relationship. 

The jobless fellow has since moved into my house, and I have housed him for almost five months now. He was my first love some six years ago, but we grew apart and lost contact. 

This is my dilemma: I feel nothing for any of these two men in my life. One of them has the money to support me, says he loves me and all that, but I am still angry at him for deserting me at my greatest hour of need. 

The other guy is so lazy and irresponsible that I feel I will have to support the family if we are to get together… but I don’t have the money. He knows very well that someone else is paying the rent and clothing me, but he says that should be no reason for me to get cosy with the other guy because of what he took me through. I am growing out of love with him by the hour. 

He is a university graduate, 28 years old and optimistic that he will chance upon a job one of these fine days, and that things will take a turn for the better for us. But why doesn’t he act like a man and move me to his house instead of staying under my roof? 

Philip, should I go back to the other man, stay with this jobless fellow or boot the two of them altogether? 

Please help. 

Vicky. 

Hello Vicky, 

I really do not know what the first man told you concerning his separation with his wife. It looks like he has never changed. To me, this man needed something to fall back to at his most trying time, and you happened to be there for him. 

Funny thing is, he is now spinning the same yarn to you again. You were not his long-term deal. He left you when you fell pregnant… and he has the nerve to come back?

As for your first love, maybe things can work out. Your biggest problem is that he does not have a job, and that he seems to make no effort. I would suggest that the two of you sit down and talk about your future. What is it that both of you want? Do not chase after a Mr Perfect Hubby that does not exist — remember, no one is perfect.

Yeah, money is important, but it is not an end unto itself. The two of you can get a life together so long as you both understand what you want. I am sorry you had to go through this. But you need to be wiser.

What is left is for you to sort yourself out and legally seek upkeep from this man, who has to take responsibility for this child he had with you. You may have to work through your anger and bitterness.

Sit with someone who can help you straighten and put sense to the thoughts you have about your future. I don’t think allowing the father of your child back into your life is the right thing to do, not after what he did to you. I’m sorry, but I really do not see a future there.

My advise to the female reader going through this note is that you need to take stock and consider the consequences of every situation you find yourself in. Is it just for the money? Should you allow a man to abuse you and use you just because he can give you money?

*********

He keeps an harem of six women, and I just became No 7

Hello Philip,

Thank you for answering readers’ questions. You are doing a sterling job. I am in my late 30s while the man I’m dating is in his early 50s. We have been in the relationship for the last three months.

When we started off, he said he wanted to settle down, and I wanted the same, so we agreed to work on the relationship. I have tried my best to keep my part of the bargain, but I have just realised that this man is a serial dater. He keeps an harem of almost seven women — me included — and I believe he is sleeping with all of us because he takes the other women to his house.

I am so confused because I had even introduced him to my children in the hope that they shall call him ‘father’ soon, which shows how much I really wanted this to work.

What drives this man? How can he be such a serial dater? 

I have learnt that he was married before, but called it quits after some time. Could he be angry at women and trying to get back at us? I have seen the text messages he sends to a local FM station that discusses relationship issues, and he is always bragging about how he has all these women, how they all eat from his hand and how they all do his will. Needless to say, I find this quite derogatory. 

I have contemplated quitting, but I haven’t been able to make the move. I don’t know how to explain to the children that it didn’t work out so soon after they had warmed their hearts to him. I feel sorry for all of us (the women involved), and it pains me to imagine that what he tells me is what he tells all the others… so we are all in for a big shock, one time or the another. 

When he is with any of the others, he can go for days without calling, and when I call, he gets all nasty. 

Please help me out. I am very confused. I have never worked as hard to build a relationship as I have done with this. 

Confused. 

Hi Confused, 

The world of relationships is complicated. What you have is a man who needs some honest talk. Let him know that you are aware of the relationships he has with the other women. 

I have this feeling that both of you are from the hurting background of marital separation, a situation that needs a lot of time to heal and to gain respect of each other’s feelings. If the feeling you have about his behaviour is this negative and strong, then I don’t think you have the right guy for you. And it does not look like your values and his match. 

Another important thing is the age difference. It is very easy for him to feel that you have no right questioning his behaviour. I am convinced that the foundation on which your relationship is built is wrong, and leaning on one side. 

Some one will end up getting hurt. You have to deal with your fear issues now and let your kids not end up seeing him one day in town exhibiting the same behaviour you want to hide from them. This is about you, your children and the future ahead.

********* 

How do I get to see my son? 

Dear Philip, 

I am a 44-year-old man, who married in church in December 2000 to a lady who was pregnant with my child. Immediately after marriage, she deserted me and went away and had a newborn in June 2001. When I attempted to visit the kid, she declined and, on two occasions, employed people to use violence on me as a deterrence. Several of these thugs were arrested and charged, excluding her. 

Her only interest, it seems, was to get a baby from me, run away and use violence to keep me away from the kid. She is a dangerously selfish person out to hurt me by denying me access to our child, and has since moved on with another man. 

I am an unemployed graduate and I don’t have the money to start legal proceedings that may grant me access to my baby boy. I approached a child welfare organisation in Meru, where I reside, but it nothing came out of it. I have never seen my boy since he was born, 10 years ago. 

Can you offer me any assistance? Is there any individual out there who can help me see my blood? 

Ken. 

Hi Ken, 

I do not have the full details of the circumstances that led to the church wedding that fateful December of 2000. Was it just because she was pregnant? Did you truly love her then? If so, did you make it known to her? 

You see, these details are important in a marriage. The man and the woman must feel that they are getting married because of the love that exists between them, nothing else. If you look back, it is possible to see some loopholes. For example, how long had you known each other? Was this relationship initially headed for marriage, or did the nuptials come as an afterthought? Did you get any pre-marital counselling? 

As you ponder over those questions, they may reveal something to you. Maybe she was wounded at some point in your time together; or she was afraid of the future you two were going for, or of the responsibilities of marriage and would rather take off with the baby. Could it also be that she saw an unstable future in the two of you together?

Whatever the case, it was not fair for her to desert you without sitting down with you to seek a solution to what was sending her running. The violence she seems to use on you could be self-triggered (she is defending herself against your tough approach) or could be a way of intimidating you and ensuring that the two of you do not ever get together. My feeling is that there could be a deep-seated resentment in her heart towards you that may need dealing with.

Getting close to your child should not be the only solution, but also a need for understanding and forgiveness between you and your wife. You do not want your child to go through the pain that you have been through, for many children have carried the pain of their parents into their future.

Legally, you should get the right of access to your child unless the relationship you intend to have with your child is considered hostile and not in the best interest of the child. Since your wife neither wants you back nor near the child, the process of access to your boy can be approached through many angles — among them a meeting of both parents, intervention by your spiritual leaders or through a court of law.

Source: Daily Nation

Posted in Kenya Marriages, Sex and Relationships | Comments Off on He gave me a gift of HIV for my 28-year loyalty

City police seize two with male body parts

Posted by Administrator on September 13, 2010

Two mortuary attendants who had attempted to sell body parts on Monday have been arrested.

Police in Nairobi seized the two in Hurlingham. One is believed to be an attendant at the Kenyatta National Hospital mortuary and the other at a private funeral home in the same area.

They were arrested at about 12.30pm with a green paper bag containing male genitals suspected to have been chopped off a body at the hospital.

Police had been tipped off about the body organ selling syndicate and laid an ambush before arresting the two as they took the genitals to an undisclosed location.

According to the deputy Kilimani OCPD Johana Chebii, police laid an ambush at the KNH parking lot where they saw the mortuary attendant board a vehicle that sped off before it was intercepted.

“Acting on a tip off that there were people trading in human body parts , detectives went to KNH and laid an ambush. One man carrying a green paper bag boarded a vehicle which was intercepted and upon searching we found a full male organ wrapped in papers,” Mr Chebii said.

Police were by Monday evening still searching the morgue to find which body the genitals had been chopped from.

A team of investigators led by the Kilimani DCIO Mwenda Italia were questioning the two suspects over the bizarre trades and how long they had been involved.

Removed organs

Police believe that the theft of body parts had been going on for some time because the suspects had removed the organs and left the hospital with relative ease.

“We don’t know if this business has been going on for long, and how many people are involved.

“We urge relatives of deceased people to always check if the bodies they collect have all parts before taking them away,” Mr Chebii said.

Mr Chebii said that the suspects would be taken to court and charged as soon as the investigations are complete.

Source: Daily Nation

Posted in Crime | 1 Comment »

 
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