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Archive for September 18th, 2010

Kibaki to host a reception for the Kenya Diaspora in New York

Posted by Administrator on September 18, 2010

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Kenyan seeks to be Trump’s next millionaire apprentice

Posted by Administrator on September 18, 2010

Frederick omondi | DAILY NATION Family and friends in Nairobi watch Ms Liza Mucheru-Wisner’s in the first episode of the tenth season of popular US reality TV show, ‘Apprentice’. There are 16 contestants and the winner will bag Sh21 million and a lucrative contract to work for Mr Donald Trump.

Frederick omondi | DAILY NATION Family and friends in Nairobi watch Ms Liza Mucheru-Wisner’s in the first episode of the tenth season of popular US reality TV show, ‘Apprentice’. There are 16 contestants and the winner will bag Sh21 million and a lucrative contract to work for Mr Donald Trump.

It was a strikingly symbolic moment for a Kenyan family on Friday as they watched their daughter on the ‘Apprentice’, the popular reality-TV show.

Ms Liza Mucheru-Wisner, 30, is among the 16 contestants on the 10th season of the show where contestants compete to join the vast estate of American billionaire Donald Trump.

The winner gets a dream job with The Trump Organisation and a six-figure salary, but only after rigorous and episodic grilling by Mr Trump and his key advisors. The competition attracted more than 10,000 applicants, but Liza made it to the team of 16.

It is at 7 am and the contest has just premiered, running an introduction clip of the 16 participants. The men and women are divided into groups chaperoned by one of their own as project manager. The first task is to refurbish an office.

Family and friends are near, yet far. They are watching live video via a phone transmitting images from a TV in the US live via a cable network-springboard. The show had been shot earlier in New York, but to them everything is too real to have been recorded.

The living room in Nairobi is pregnant with anticipation as the host turns on the TV for the appointed hour.

“I have seen her, she is painting,” says Njeri Mucheru Oyatta, Liza’s elder sister, clasping her cheeks. Also in the room are brothers Joe Mucheru and Muniu Mucheru and sister-in-law Aida Mucheru.

Irene Wamaitha, Paul Kiranga, Jane Okulo and Chris Kiagiri, the family friends, are there too to watch their friend become the first Kenyan on the coveted contest.

It was fun and dramatic, Liza would tell the Nairobi viewers via a Gmail video immediately after the first show.

At the time, Liza was in Corpus Christi, a small town in Texas ,US, and she had just returned home after a party.

Jokes and laughter punctuate the room as the show rolls on.

“She has a winning personality. She is a winner. To get that recognition makes her stand out,” says Joe, Liza’s eldest brother who is also the Google Lead for sub-Saharan Africa.

Watching the “Apprentice”, every minute mattered and eventually someone was going to be fired. So, the siblings and friends crossed their fingers.

When the time to walk into the boardroom came, the fifth born in a family of six was right there, not too far from the mercurial Mr Donald Trump.

In a side interview with the Saturday Nation via Gmail video, Liza said of Mr Trump: “He is the most genuine person I have ever met. He has inspired me and I have a lot of respect for him.”

The tension and drama couldn’t get better in the boardroom, as the participants defended their decisions and actions with the eyes trained on the ultimate prize: great job with a hefty salary.

When Mr Trump asked Liza why she thought her team failed, she was confident and firm.

“Liza must have thought, ‘I must say something in that boardroom’,” said Njeri, amid laughter.

Njeri describes her younger sister as beautiful, confident, determined, organised and intelligent. Joe says Liza is not afraid to take risks.

“It is beyond her dream. She never thought she would be in a situation like this. She is waiting for explosion,” says Njeri in jest.

After a gruelling session with Mr Trump in the boardroom, Muniu exclaimed with his hands up: “That is safe for me.” Liza had survived the first ‘inquisition’ and Nicole, the project manager, was fired.

At that particular moment it did not matter to the group that their sister and friend was at best 14 ‘roastings’ away from winning one of the most lucrative jobs in the world. The fact that she had passed the first hurdle was reason enough to celebrate Liza’s big leap into corporate America.

So, could this be a breakthrough for Kenya? What if Liza wins, will it be the icing on the cake after President Barack Obama stellar electoral victory?

To Liza, this is no big deal. She says the drama is really amazing and has a fan page for her Kenya admirers. Asked if she thinks she will win, she laughed.

“Thinking is not part of the equation. I know. I will be doing interview with you from Trump Tower,” said Liza. “You haven’t seen anything yet. If you miss to watch ‘Apprentice’, everybody would be asking where have you been living?”

Source: Daily Nation

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Parents die after they learn of son’s death

Posted by Administrator on September 18, 2010

An elderly couple died in Kitale on Friday after they learnt that their fifth-born son had died.

Mr Kamau Macharia, 95, and his wife Margaret Njeri, 85, collapsed and died after they were informed of their son’s death after taking chang’aa.

According to Milimani location chief Sylvester Mumanyi, Mr Joseph Munyoro, 45, had been invited by a friend to a brewing den in Kambi Nyasi before he drowned in Naisambu River.

The den is 200 metres away from the parents’ home.

The chief said that the mother, who first received information about the death of her son, collapsed and was taken to Mt Elgon Hospital, where she died.

The husband, who got information about the deaths, also collapsed and died.

Mr Mumanyi said the legalisation of traditional brews will result in an increase in crime and deaths.

Kitale deputy mayor Hebert Wambaya, who is also the area councillor, sent condolences to the family and appealed to the government and MPs to formulate laws to regulate the consumption of traditional brews.

Contacted for comment, Trans Nzoia West district commissioner Wilfred Kinyua cautioned residents against excessive consumption of traditional brews, saying they risked drowning following heavy rains in the region.

The old man’s body was moved to the Mt Elgon Hospital mortuary awaiting postmortem

Ms Easter Waithera, 50, said her brother, who was a watchman at a coffee research in Kitale, was invited to drink beer by a friend and never returned home.

Fetch father’s shoes

His body was found in the river on Sunday by his friend’s daughter, who had gone to fetch her father’s shoes that got stuck in the water the previous night.

The girl informed the father and the family, who later went to the scene and established that the dead man was indeed Mr Munyoro.

They later learnt that he died after failing to cross the river.

“We were forced to postpone the burial of my brother Munyoro, scheduled for Monday, after mother died on the same day.

The second burial, which was to take place on Thursday, was pushed ahead as father died on Thursday” Ms Waithera said.

Source: Daily Nation

Posted in Kenya | 1 Comment »

How to get a husband

Posted by Administrator on September 18, 2010

By Jackson Biko

Chris Ojigbani, the giver of husbands, must be smiling. Smiling at being right about our women. Smiling that yes, desperation surely lives in Kenya. He is proud that he – an unknown bible thumper – could come down here and have our women literally eat from his palms.

Men hate him because he has confirmed our worst fear; that our women are fickle. And gullible. And desperate. And embarrassing.

Of course men have always secretly suspected this, but to have a foreigner (worse still from Nijja of all the places) come down here and confirm it is to rub salt to a very septic wound.

I don’t know what spiritual advice he dispensed to these women on that dark fateful weekend or even if he referred them to his book, “I want to marry you,” a thin 136- paged tablet of wisdom.

I’m no pastor, but I sympathise with the women who packed the hall in the hope of a husband falling from the heavens like manna.

Getting a husband is not a science. And it is not luck either. Below is my very simplified and easy-to-understand guide on how to get a husband.

Drinking like a man. A woman who drinks from 2pm on a Saturday right until 2am doesn’t need a man, she needs sound advice. There is nothing cool about matching a man drink for drink. There is nothing liberated about recounting stories on how you downed a bottle of whisky. Men love these women because they are fun, but nobody would be crazy to have them as a wife.

Not getting pregnant: This used to work long ago when Break-dance was in fashion. Not anymore. Men now know better than to be arm-twisted into marriage because you “forgot” to swallow a pill.

Learn to cook something other than an egg. Men might wear Armani suits but the core is still traditional. Get a recipe book, if need be. Cook.

The man in your head doesn’t exist. Well, every woman wishes for the man in her head that has one quality; perfect. That man doesn’t exist in real life. Don’t whine and nag. I used to know this guy who used to date a woman who whined about everything, from the weather, her family, right down to things that he really didn’t care about. She was very beautiful though. He married someone else.

Get a life. You won’t meet any man – or husband – for that matter if you stick to a routine. Change churches, use a different route to get home, change where you drink once in a while. Get out of that box. Be willing to try something new.

Don’t be desperate: Going to KICC to be prayed for to get a husband falls under this category. It’s easy to smell desperation; it’s smell is slightly subtler than the smell of gasoline.

Talking marriage. Nothing turns a man off like a woman you just met who makes it clear that she is looking for marriage. It puts pressure on a man, makes him feel like he has to want marriage as well.

Dating sites. Everybody knows that nobody goes to look for a wife in a dating site. It’s a ground for preying on bored women. I think the general feeling is that a woman who goes to a dating site to look for a partner is at the end of her rope. That or she is not very attractive, physically or whatever.

Don’t think about it. There is a book called the Secret which I have read (out of curiosity) and one of the maxims it extols is that you attract what you think about. That the universe is that generous. This doesn’t apply to men because this is bound to get obsessive.

A woman should focus less on when Mr. Right will show up and concentrate on working on being a better person. Better women attract men. You see the thread here?

Source: Daily Nation

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How strong is your marriage?

Posted by Administrator on September 18, 2010

Many couples would be at a loss to describe the kind of marriage they have despite the fact that they have been married for several years. PHOTO / FILE

Many couples would be at a loss to describe the kind of marriage they have despite the fact that they have been married for several years. PHOTO / FILE

By Billy Muiruri

If you were given a chance to rate your marriage today, where exactly would you place it? Many couples would be at a loss to describe the kind of marriage they have despite the fact that they have been married for several years.

If you find yourself not able to say categorically whether you are in a successful marriage or not, you are not alone. Many marriages in Kenya are at a crossroads and couples are actually merely staying together rather than living together. What is the difference, you may ask.

When a woman is getting into marriage, she envisages a situation where her husband treats her with respect, caters for all her financial needs (the occasional holiday coming in just to spice up love), calls her often, extends a helping hand to her relatives and makes sure she is well groom enough to stand confidently in front of his colleagues and friends.

On the other hand, a man may expect a wife who is a good mother to their children, a woman who does not whine or nag, is reasonably economical and basically runs the home well.

But how consistently is this happening in today’s marriages?

One may start from the basic question of just how well the two people know each other, their separate families and various other personal issues.

According to Professor Edward Mburugu, a sociology expert at the University of Nairobi, a couple that is “merely staying together” lacks a well- knit marital set-up and each spouse tends to do things on his or her own or his/her own way.

Communication

“These are two people just sharing a room or a home so to speak and do not care much about what the other is doing. They are emotionally detached from each other,” he says. “There is no communication and the main reason they are still sharing the home is because sometimes it is too late to leave,” says the sociologist.

On the other hand, a couple that is “living together” communicates on every aspect of their lives and offers some space to each other to do personal things.

“There is a lot of harmony between them and they are keen not to offend each other. If an issue arises, they are eager to sort it out jointly,” he says.

Couples “living together” share their fears, worries and hopes and generally agree on many things.

“They share a vision of where they want to take their family. No one has “hidden cards” under the table and there are no secrets of whatever nature between them. They trust that each is working for the good of the family,” observes the professor.

So what would make some people feel like they are staying rather than living together?

“If we never talk about our salaries or incomes, I would feel worried,” says Clare Mmbaya. She cannot imagine living with a man whose salary she does not know, when he is low financially or even when he is doing well pocket wise.

“Any couple that keeps money secrets, is not together in spirit. A spouse needs to know when things are not okay so that one does not bombard the other with demands that they not able to meet. It only increases tension and breeds anger,” she says.

For Evelyne Ochieng, a Nairobi businesswoman, “A woman is able to see a man who is not taking full responsibility for the family. If it does not seem like it is bothering him, then he is just staying with you, be knowing you have no life together. This is the kind of man who will leave his family at the first opportunity to do so,” she says.

Ochieng’s other sign that a man is just not playing a real role in a marriage is when he does not bother to follow up the children’s academic progress.

“I think 80 per cent of men never ask their children how they are doing in school. If he comes home late everyday and does not bother to check on how the children are fairing in school then he is really not a family man,” she adds.

Here, another angle shoots up. How many fathers attend school meetings or academic events involving their children? How many accompany mothers to clinics or health check-ups, for example?

“A couple that does not share children’s responsibilities is merely staying together because of whatever benefits they can get from that set-up,” says Anne Nyanchoka, a fashion designer in Nairobi.

“If you have children,” she says, “it is a responsibility of both parents to take care of the children on equal basis. “Otherwise, what is the point of having a father who cannot recall the class his daughter is in, for example,” opines Nyanchoka.

According to her, fathers, are particularly at fault when it comes to parenting. Ask fathers when their children were born, as in their birth dates, and you will be surprised at how many do not know.

A man who is in sych with his family will know very many of what may be considered the nitty-gritties.

But what would make Elsie Onyango feel all is not well is the way they treat in-laws. She says there are expectations from the man’s and wife’s sides and they better be handled carefully if you are truly a loving, married couple.

“For example, how many Nairobi women or those from any of the other big towns can comfortably go to their husband’s rural home on their own without the husband and stay there with the in-laws for a few days?” poses Onyango, a model and human resources practitioner.

According to her, the way in-laws are treated by either spouse can breed contempt. Lack of consultation even when such a relative is coming to stay shows a crack in the marriage,” says the model.

Both Anne and Elsie have a verdict if you do not discuss in-laws and how to treat them without compromising happiness in the family, you are actually losing it out, as a couple.

Philemon Odhiambo has other ideas. To him, how a couple handles cultural and traditional expectations would show whether they are strong and together as one. He says a man is expected to fulfill certain obligations both at family and society level and if the woman is not for it, then there is a problem.

“Suppose you want to build a small house in the village and your wife opposes the move. Or if you want to pay fees for your younger sibling and the woman feels you are spending too much on your family. Does that not create a rift?” poses Odhiambo a professional artist in Nairobi.

Personally, the father of two says he had a problem getting names for his children. “I wanted African names for my children but their mother preferred foreign names which actually mean nothing to me,” he says but does not elaborate on who carried the day.

Kamau Gatheru’s take is that the spirit of love between a couple is dented by the expectations each has which they may not be ready to be flexible about.

“So when they start a family and the expectations are not fulfilled, they start losing the meaning of living together,” says Kamau, an IT Specialist in Nairobi.

One of the expectations that can hinder the concept of “living together” is sex. “Many men feel they should get sex from their wives whenever they want it while many women believe they should get quality sex from their husbands whenever they have it,” he says.

He adds that if this aspect of marriage does not satisfy either spouse, then they start living like strangers under one roof.

“Sex is a key element in a marriage. It validates the union. It is a major reason many marriages are slowly sliding into breaking point,” he points out emphatically.

Daily Nation

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Habits of a soon-to-be-dumped girlfriend

Posted by Administrator on September 18, 2010

He’s been acting strange lately – doesn’t call, doesn’t text. His physical displays of affection have simmered to a screeching halt. Whenever you do get together, he’s on the phone with his boys or updating his Facebook status.

Something has changed but you can’t put your finger on it. Your boyfriend is slowly phasing you out.

You have suddenly become his favourite T-shirt – old, raggedy, holy. A shirt he’s ready to dump but not quite yet. As a woman, trust your instincts. Does any of this sound familiar? Are alarm bells ringing in your head?

While I am no defender of a man who treats his woman as a questionable piece of garment, it could be you sabotaging the relationship and forcing him to chose between the relationship or his sanity.

Stephen Covey, author of the powerful personal growth book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, says that “the proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct and learn from it”. Are any of these “mistakes” leading you to become a soon-to-be-dumped girlfriend?

Cheating

Are you serial cheater? Do you find it difficult to resist the forbidden eye candy staring across the bar? You are in a committed relationship right? Believe you me, women can be serial cheaters too. Are you dissatisfied with your relationship? Face up to it before you get caught…that is, if you are really seriously interested in making the relationship work.

Lying

God hates liars – it’s in the Bible and so do good boyfriends. If you lie about everything from what you ate for breakfast to where you were last weekend, you have a disease. If he confronts you on your lies, don’t make a pathetic attempt to uphold your fictional tales.

Be open and honest. Start piling up on your truth bricks to build a relationship that can withstand the test of time.

Nagging

Nothing turns a man off more than nagging. You make him feel like he is dating his mother. He gets into defense mode immediately you start your no stop complaints. And faster than you can say “Microsoft Windows” your boyfriend has shut down.

Come slowly when it comes to trying to make them better boyfriends. They, too, need to know that you love them unconditionally and have their best interests at heart.

Jealousy

The legendary green-eyed monster is a sensitive issue in any relationship but avoid hating on his female friends and family. As a woman, you are territorial when it comes to your boyfriend. It’s understandable. But a negative comment about other women makes you look insecure and weak.

Drama mama
No matter how pretty you are, if you are a drama mama, you will not last long in a relationship. Drama mama is a Daddy’s little girl who kicks, screams, cries and insults everyone around her until she gets her way.

She doesn’t understand the following words, “no”, “maybe next time”, “I’m broke, maybe next week” “please don’t smash my laptop” “please stop hitting me”. This lady also can’t handle her liquor either.

Thanks to her, you have been banned for life from two night clubs, been locked in a police cell thrice and will be stuck in credit card debt for the next two years. If you are this type of girlfriend, he is going to dump you sooner or later. It’s understandable – you are a hazard to his health.

Boring

To avoid being the soon-to-be-dumped girlfriend, you need to keep your man engaged and stimulated. And I’m not talking about the bedroom. Read a book or a newspaper once in a while. If he is a Man U fan, read up on Arsenal and challenge him. Men love a well-read girl.

He wants to see if there is anything underneath the surface of that pretty face and hot body. Can you hold an intelligent conversation? Make up for lost words now, otherwise it could be goodbye pretty dumb girlfriend and hello, not-so-cute-but-at-least-I can-hold-a-conversation-with-her woman of his dreams.

Clingy and smothering

It’s a thin line between girlfriend and stalker. You know you have crossed over to the dark side if you are calling him incessantly, sending him texts every 10 minutes, following him to nightclubs or introducing yourself to his family without his knowledge. If any of the above sound like you then you are in trouble. The man is freaking out and ready to drop you like yesterday’s bowl of githeri.

Nduta Kinyanjui

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Beware those long courtships

Posted by Administrator on September 18, 2010

A recent article in the Saturday Nation talked about a woman who stayed in a relationship for 10 years, assuming that her boyfriend would eventually marry her. He did not.

A woman who agrees to live with a man, as his wife, or to stay in a prolonged relationship, hoping that he will eventually marry her may be entertaining false hopes.

Many women have found out the hard way that living with a man for too long without a marriage certificate, often ends in a major disappointment for the woman when someone else comes along and the man decamps without a backward glance.

Certain relationships go on for years without any wedding bells in sight. This is not a good situation for any woman who wishes to get married and raise children because a woman’s biological clocks do not go on forever.

Take the case of one Nancy Kagendo, a 40-year-old cateress. Nancy is a vivacious, attractive woman whose laughing eyes belie the pain she has been through because she stayed too long in a relationship that ended up nowhere.

She met and fell in love with Gitonga several years ago. They were together for 12 years. All this time, Nancy assumed that they were ‘married’ and all that Gitonga had to do was formalise the arrangement with a wedding or by paying bride price to her parents.

She was mistaken because Gitonga had no such intentions. Being traditional and soft-spoken, Nancy did not push the issue and kept waiting for the time when Gitonga would make an honest women of her. She dutifully did everything as his ‘wife’ and everyone thought of her as such.

He even introduced her as his wife whenever they were out. She waited patiently for the day he would announce that he was taking his people to meet her family. Unfortunately, the day never arrived. While they were still together, Gitonga met someone else and left Nancy for this other woman.

Nancy was inconsolable for several months. In retrospect, she says she does not understand why she stayed so long with Gitonga even when he was not taking the relationship to the next level.

“It was as though he had some power over me, I couldn’t think straight and that’s why I did not push the issue of marriage in all that time,” she says. Nancy’s advice to young women in relationships is to feel with their hearts, but think with their heads.

In another case, a woman named Wangari went out with a man, let’s call him David* for six years. She was 38 and like most women her age, she was ready to settle down and was looking for a life partner.

But every time she broached the subject of marriage, her boyfriend would vaguely tell her things like “Let the relationship take its course” or “Don’t rush me.” This man did not seem willing to make a commitment, yet he expected to keep on dating her while dangling the marriage carrot.

He paraded her around to the point where everyone believed they were married. Men who were interested in her feared to approach her because of this.

He had even introduced her to his family, making her convinced that he was serious about the affair. Eventually, she grew weary of waiting for him to make up his mind to marry her and broke up with him. The only regret she has today is the fact that she wasted her time and emotions on him for so long.

Many women who have been dumped after being in lengthy relationships and even co-habitating with the man often wonder why the men who were so happy to live with them for so long did not marry them. A few men we spoke to had this to say:

Mwangi, a 37-year-old salesperson succinctly summed it up by asking this commonly used quote: “Why would you buy the whole cow if you have been getting the milk for free”?

****
John, a 32-year-old part time student said, “Dating a woman for long is no guarantees of marriage. She ought to know that she is taking a risk. Infact, the longer you take in a relationship before marriage the less the chances of it culminating in a marriage.”

From this reasoning, it is clear that women who would like to get married need to be very discerning about what they are getting into. Before starting a relationship, lay down your terms and conditions in order to avoid misunderstandings later on.

Those contemplating co-habitation would be wise to discuss their feelings ahead of time to ascertain the meaning each partner associates with the decision to live together.
If one, usually the woman considers co-habitation as a precursor to engagement and the other is participating without love and commitment, hard feelings and hurt result.

As a woman, you are entirely to blame if you are taken for a long ride. Men will usually simply say that they did not coerce you into the relationship. Some will even state that they did not promise you anything. And they are right. The choices you make concerning the relationship are entirely up to you.

personalcare2001@yahoo.com

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