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Archive for December 4th, 2010

Friends spring to action for sick couple

Posted by Administrator on December 4, 2010

Stanley and Theresia Nguyai

Stanley and Theresia Nguyai

NASHUA – Two communities are rallying around a local couple who are battling cancer.

One community is made up of Kenyan immigrants from northern Massachusetts and southern New Hampshire, where Stanley Nguyaii Wa-Mbarii, 51, and his wife, Teresia Wa-Nguyaii, 47, have been well-known members for more than a decade.

The second community is formed of parents, students, faculty and staff at Infant Jesus School, where the couple’s 9-year-old son, Wilson, is a student.

An account at Citizens Bank has been established to help the family. In the meantime, the Kenyan community raised money at an event last week in a Lowell, Mass., church, and Infant Jesus is hosting a series of fundraisers and has already raised close to $8,000.

Among the fundraisers: Students bought $2 tickets for a day, $10 for the week, that allowed them to not wear school uniforms from June 14-18, the last week of school. An end-of-the-school-year cookout and a spaghetti dinner for Infant Jesus families are also helping to raise money in addition to two public fundraisers.

Teresia was diagnosed in January with cervical cancer and had to step aside from her job as a nurse with Palm Manor in Lowell to undergo daily treatments at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston.

Stanley was laid off last July from a job as an accountant with a company in Londonderry. He took his wife to Boston for her daily cancer treatments until a physical in March revealed that he has leukemia.

He was hospitalized for five weeks at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston for aggressive radiation and chemotherapy treatment. He needs a bone marrow transplant, and doctors are scrambling to contact his siblings and other relatives in Kenya to see if they can find a match.

Family friends still reeling from news about Teresia were devastated to learn that Stanley also suffered from a type of cancer.“I was shocked. I had to go upstairs to cry,” said Jerusha Mangera, supportive housing coordinator of Southern New Hampshire Services’ Mary’s House shelter for abused women and mother of one of Wilson Nguyaii’s classmates at Infant Jesus.

Mangera, her husband and their three children have taken Wilson in to live with them while his parents are undergoing cancer treatment.She had to break the news to Wilson that his father was going to be in the hospital.“I just had to tell him he was going to stay with us for a while. What do you tell a kid?” Mangera said.

Stanley has a 21-year-old daughter, Rebecca, from a previous relationship. She’s attending the University of North Texas.

Friends say the Nguyaiis are well known and liked among area residents with ties to Kenya.The couple have been married for about 10 years, said Kariuki Kimungu, chairman of the Nguyaii Family Fundraising Committee, a sponsor of the fundraising efforts at St. Stephen Church in Lowell.

Teresia emceed events in the Kenyan community, Kimungu said. She is outgoing and al-ways willing to help others, he said. Besides working as an accountant, Stanley has also been a citizen photojournalist for AjabuAfrica.com, Kimungu said.

When Teresia was attending Rivier College, she lived with Lee Karugu and his wife, said Karugu, a district manager for The Telegraph’s circulation department. She has been in living Nashua for a long time, Karugu said.“She is very, very outgoing. She’s one of the best people you’d want to meet. He is a little more quiet,” Karugu said, adding, “Both are good friends of mine.”Teresia was working to bring her sister and brother to the U.S., Karugu said.“That’s something she did well – to take care of her family,” he said.

People were shocked when they learned of Stanley’s illness, Karugu said.“I’ve never seen anything like this happen to two people at the same time,” he said.

Despite not working and facing mounting medical bills, the family has been reluctant to ask for financial help, said two women tied to fundraising efforts at Infant Jesus School.“If they didn’t need help, they wouldn’t be asking,” said Maryse Wirbal, chief executive officer of Nashua Pastoral Care Center and mother of an Infant Jesus student.

The Nguyaiis have enough to worry about, added Mary Ellen Gould, a nurse with Foundation Oncology and an Infant Jesus parent.“If we just take the weight of finances off of them,” Gould said.

Wirbal and Gould said the various fundraising efforts will continue, as the family faces a long road ahead.“This is going to be an ongoing need they’re going to have,” Wirbal said.

Source: http://www.nashuatelegraph.com/news/759894-196/friends-spring-to-action-for-sick-couple.html#


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Kenyan Woman Battling Cancer Passes Away in Boston

Posted by Administrator on December 4, 2010


The Late Teresia Nguyaii who passed away at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston after a brave fight with cancer. Photo by  Nyoris Production

The Late Teresia Nguyaii who passed away at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston after a brave fight with cancer. Photo by Nyoris Production

A Kenyan woman living in New Hampshire who has been fighting cancer along with her husband has passed away.

Teresiah Wambui Nguyaii lost the battle with the disease at around 5am on Friday. Mrs Nguyaii passed away at the Brigham and Women’s hospital in Boston, Massachusetts.

Stanley Nguyaii Wa-Mbarii, 51, the husband to the deceased is fighting blood cancer (Acute Leukemia). Stanley is currently waiting for a bone marrow donor.

(Watch Video here in support of the couple)

Mrs Nguyaii also left behind a 9 year old son, Wilson Nguyaii and a step-daughter, Rebecca, 21, who is a student at the University of North Texas.

She passed away with her husband by her bedside barely a week after she lost her mother in Kenya.

Funeral arrangements are currently under way with friends and family meeting daily from 6pm at the couple’s home located at 20 Timberline drive in Nashua, NH, 03062.

The first meeting was held on Friday and a committee was set up to help out in the fundraising & funeral arrangements.

Mr Kariuki Kimungu is the Chairman and will assisted by Mr. Muite The treasurer is Mr. Freddy while Mrs. Amos the Secretary.

A Sunday meeting was organized at St Stephens Church Lowell at 3pm on 12/5/2010. The main fundraising event is scheduled for December 11th 2010 at St Stephens Church Lowell at 2:00pm. Mr. Joshua the family spokesperson encouraged people to assist, contribute and get the word out.

The family has a huge financial burden as the husband Stanley Nguyaii has hospital bills and cancer treatments going on and their mother has not been buried in Kenya, who also has a hospital bill of over Ksh.800,000 for her body to be released for burial .

The late Teresia Wa Nguyai, 48 will be buried here in the US. The burial date is not yet set.

Update on the bank account number will be given once confirmed.

For more info Contact the Chairman Mr Kariuki Kimungu on (603)-320-9858; Rev.Samuel Kimohu: 978-996-0434; Paul Muite : 603-438-9744

Additional information provided by Sam Mwaura/www.Samrack.com

Related Story: http://habarizanyumbani.jambonewspot.com/2010/12/04/friends-spring-to-action-for-sick-couple/

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Doctor behaved disgracefully, council told

Posted by Administrator on December 4, 2010

A KENYAN doctor behaved “disgracefully and dishonourably” in not fulfilling the terms of a prestigious scholarship worth €250,000, a medical council hearing was told.

Dr Irene Mwangi’s failure to take up a five-year posting at the Mater hospital in Nairobi amounted to an “absolute betrayal” and a breach of trust of the terms of the scholarship she received, a senior doctor told the hearing.

Consultant radiologist Dr Eamann Breatnach helped to set up the O’Halpin Linders scholarship programme which was inaugurated by businessman Joseph Linders in memory of his late wife Dr Dara O’Halpin to help doctors in the developing world improve their skills.

Dr Mwangi was the first recipient of the four-year scholarship and completed her fellowship in the summer of 2008.

Dr Breatnach said he felt Dr Mwangi had let down a great number of people when he found out in August 2008 that she had sent an e-mail to the Mater hospital in Nairobi saying she would not be taking up her posting. He said Dr Mwangi disappeared around that time and he and Mr Linders went to the Kenyan embassy to report her missing.

The second day of the hearing heard that Dr Mwangi, who is now based in San Diego and watched the proceedings by video link, had her accommodation paid for, extensive overseas travel and “everything she needed”, Dr Breatnach said. The hearing was adjourned.

Source: http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2010/1203/1224284680580.html

Posted in Diaspora News | 2 Comments »


Posted by Administrator on December 4, 2010

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Old School Divas: Jamhuri Day Ultimate Old School Dinner Dance

Posted by Administrator on December 4, 2010

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‘You’re fired!’ didn’t stop Corpus Christi contestant on ‘The Apprentice’

Posted by Administrator on December 4, 2010

“The Apprentice” contestant Liza Wisner (left) high-fives Daniel Jackson, 4, after he got the correct answer to a question Thursday as she teaches a Texas Techies computer class for children at the Manna Childcare Center. The Corpus Christi mother and businesswoman made it to the final three in the NBC reality show.

“The Apprentice” contestant Liza Wisner (left) high-fives Daniel Jackson, 4, after he got the correct answer to a question Thursday as she teaches a Texas Techies computer class for children at the Manna Childcare Center. The Corpus Christi mother and businesswoman made it to the final three in the NBC reality show.

By Mark Collette

CORPUS CHRISTI — Business magnate Donald Trump fired Corpus Christi resident Liza Wisner on Thursday’s episode of “The Apprentice,” but the show has enabled her to share her passion for helping children in ways she never dreamed — including drawing the attention of the Kenyan government.

One of the final three contestants on this season of the reality TV series, Wisner was eliminated in one of the show’s hallmark, tense, face-to-face boardroom meetings with Trump — despite having won a business challenge that involved pitching products on the QVC shopping network.

“I really feel like it wasn’t fair, and I put my best foot forward and really have what it takes,” Wisner said.

Because it has just one winner, the show forces a cutthroat competition that doesn’t reflect the kind of teamwork involved in the real corporate world, Wisner said. Besides enduring the scrutiny of Trump, Wisner also had to take trash talk aimed at her from the other 15 contestants trying to land a six-figure job.

She may have left the boardroom in tears, yet for all of Trump’s tough-as-nails exterior, his stalwart hair, piercing gaze and no-mercy reputation, Wisner said he still helped her.

“Mr. Trump is human,” she said. “They really edit the show a lot to make him look scary, firing people. In between all that is really a person who is genuinely interested in the success of others. He doesn’t just focus on the mistakes, but on how you can learn from them.”

Her boardroom exit has led to a literal world of possibilities. What was supposed to be a simple family visit to her home country of Kenya during the Thanksgiving holiday turned into something of an outreach mission that included international diplomacy with high-ranking officials.

During her two-week trip, cameras followed her as she visited schools, including her alma mater and a school that has no electricity. Wisner convinced Hewlett-Packard to donate laptops to the school so that children can use computers in the classroom, charging them at home. Other companies donated food and clothing to children.

Her meetings with Kenyan officials included the vice president, with whom she talked about her passions for bringing technology to children even before they begin school.

“Knowing that me being on ‘The Apprentice’ has put a spotlight on this need, I never expected that,” Wisner said.

Wisner is the associate director of a graduate student retention program at Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi, and she owns and operates Texas Techies, which aims to teach children computer skills and, at the same time, basic reading and math.

She said she hasn’t had much time recently to focus on growing her business, but she hopes the attention from the TV show will draw more support for classroom technology initiatives in Corpus Christi, especially in areas where children may not have regular access to computers.

On Thursday, Wisner taught children, including her two sons, at Manna Childcare Center. Ages 2 to 4, the children hovered over laptops playing a program called Puterbugs. Following on-screen and verbal instructions, they used a mouse and keyboard to feed specific amounts of gumballs to the cartoon critters on the screen. They’ll be reading and counting well ahead of other children their age when they enter kindergarten.

“It’s not about money, but ideas,” Wisner said. “Funding is going to come either way. I strongly believe that if you’re doing what you love, it’s going to happen.”

Source: http://www.caller.com/news/2010/dec/03/youre-fired-didnt-stop-her/

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Equity links up with Essar for diaspora cash transfer

Posted by Administrator on December 4, 2010

Essar Telecom Country Manager Atul Chaturvedi (left) exchange documents with Equity Bank CEO James Mwangi shortly after signing partnership on December 02,2010. William Oeri

Essar Telecom Country Manager Atul Chaturvedi (left) exchange documents with Equity Bank CEO James Mwangi shortly after signing partnership on December 02,2010. William Oeri

Equity Bank has signed a deal with mobile phone firm Essar allowing its account holders to receive international remittances through the yuCash transfer system.

It is banking on an international money transfer infrastructure provider Obopay which also powers the yuCash system to tap into the market as it widens its net on mobile banking.

New deal

Although yuCash is a domestic money transfer service, the new deal will allow the remittance of money from one bank account to Equity account holders who can access it through the yuCash if they are registered.

The latest partnership is the third following a similar deal with Orange which launched Orange Money and previous partnerships with the leading mobile service provider Safaricom.

Equity’s Chief Executive Officer James Mwangi said unlike the previous partnerships it has signed with other mobile operators , the deal with Essar offers Kenyans in the diaspora opportunity to remit money into Equity account from their banks—courtesy of the interface link provided by Obopay.

“Money can be remitted from America or India into Equity account and withdrawn through the yuCash,” said Mr Mwangi.

Statistics from Central Bank of Kenya indicate that remittance flows in September, 2010, increased by 12.6 per cent to $ 58.6 million, from $ 52 million in August 2010 and were 17.1 percent above the cumulative 12 months average of $ 50 million a month.

The source markets for remittances have on average maintained the same shares, with North America contributing 53 per cent and Europe 26 per cent of total remittances to Kenya in September, 2010, the survey shows.

Essar Telecoms managing director Atul Chaturvedi said yuCash is a domestic money transfer services, but that Equity joint account holders can transfer money from abroad to their accounts provided it is within the framework of the Government of Kenya and the Central Bank of Kenya.

“Yucash is only a domestic money transfer services but with the Equity partnership we can facilitate the access of the money( in Kenya Shillings) that have been remitted to an Equity account holder who is also a yuCash subscriber. “Only yuCash gives you five channels through which you can transact, including the internet (WAP), SMS, Voice USSD as well as the now commonly used SIM tool kit,” said Mr Chaturvedi.

This means that even one travels abroad, he can still access his yuCash account and take care of emergencies at home at the same competitive local rates.

The new service will also enable yu subscribers and either Safaricom’s, Orange or Airtel subscribers registered on yuCash to transfer their funds to their Equity Bank accounts directly.

“Designed as what is technically known as mapped account, yuCash customers will alongside basic money transfer can now send and receive cash across the various local mobile network operators,” said Mr Mwangi.

Money transfer and data services is emerging as the next frontier for revenues generation in the telecommunications sector while in the banking industry, mobile banking is seen to replace the brick and mortar branches and a means of bridging the gap between the banked and unbanked.

Out of 21 million subscribers in Kenya, it is estimated that close to 16 million are on money transfer services.

Safaricom, Orange and Yu have a combined subscriber base of more than 16 million.

Source: Business Daily Africa

Posted in Kenya | 1 Comment »

No sex, Thank You

Posted by Administrator on December 4, 2010

There are some women who love men but are happy to be in a sexless marriage. Photo/FILE

There are some women who love men but are happy to be in a sexless marriage. Photo/FILE

Imagine being a man in his prime, married to a beautiful, intelligent woman.

To outsiders, your marriage is picture perfect, but there is just one little thing out of place – it is almost sexless.

Not because you do not love each other, not because you do not find each other sexually attractive, neither of you is gay, not because there is anything physically wrong with either of you, but because she finds the sexual act off-putting.

On top of that, you married her knowing fully well that she does not like to get deeply intimate – on your first date, she came out clean and told you that going all the nine yards is not her favourite pastime, but you thought this state of affairs could be corrected and went ahead and swore in front of man and God that you would be faithful to her, and only death would do part the two of you.

Mariam* 27, has been married for one year to a man she loves dearly, but one she has to really push herself to get intimate with.

She is beautiful, bubbly and effortlessly commands attention both for her beauty and brains.

Watching her with her husband, it is obvious that they are deeply in love with each other but when she tells her story, you start wondering whether the ‘in-love” bit is just a façade.


You wonder whether, instead of agreeing to get married, she should have just looked for a gay man to be her best friend or husband. After all, apparently, now there are couples who are making such living arrangements.

Talking to her, I kept thinking to myself, “friendship from a man is all she seems to be comfortable with so why did she get married?”

According to *Mariam, sex is overrated. It and it should not be the reason why two people get together.

“My situation is nothing to do with my husband who I love dearly,” she says without flinching. “I have never really been one to like that kind of intimacy with any man and I told him about it before we got married.”

It is almost surreal listening to her discuss her sex life, or lack of it, as if she is discussing the current price of potatoes.

She is almost detached; she obviously does not think there is anything wrong with how she looks at intimacy – she has never liked it, period. The phrase ‘she does not know what she is missing’ does not count.

*Miriam only has sex once a month, twice if she is pushed. When she has it, she has to be drunk to be able to go through with it.

She does not cuddle with her husband – she sleeps at the furthest end of their bed, while he takes the other extreme end. She will not sleep naked, or wear sexy underwear in bed.

“Sometimes we will do it, but I would almost forget that it happened because I was so drunk.”

Is she not worried that there will be such a time that her husband will not be able to wait for his monthly portions and venture out there?

“Well, then I would feel betrayed. It is not like I duped him – he married me knowing fully well that I’m not crazy about it and could well do without any of that kind of intimacy in my marriage.” She explains clinically.

“I find that kind of intimacy sweaty, it messes my hair, and I usually cannot wait for it to be over.” So is her husband okay with her obvious lack of interest? “I have never really asked but he never complains, so I assume he is fine with the situation.”

I could not get the husband to comment, but speaking to other men, it left me believing that Mariam’s husband is either a very special kind of man or he is getting his groove on elsewhere on the sly.

All the men I asked to comment on the issue categorically stated that they could not date, let alone marry, such a woman.

“What would be the point of our relationship?” “I have enough sisters and platonic friends, I do not need another in my life.”

“That man is definitely cheating on her – no normal man would be content in that kind of relationship.”

“Maybe he does not like that kind of intimacy either, so they would be a perfect match.”

Who would blame the men for those sentiments – one of the biggest tests whether any relationship will survive is whether the two people are sexually compatible

*Mariam is not frigid, however. Once in a while, some feelings would stir within her, but when it gets to the act itself, she recoils – hence the need to get intoxicated prior to the act.

I presented *Mariam’s case to John Gacheru, a psychotherapist with Amani Counseling Centre and Training Institute.

“There is definitely a big psychological problem there.” He stated immediately.

“There are a number of possibilities to this woman’s problem; could there be a history of sexual abuse, something that happened to her in her childhood that she has probably buried in her subconscious?

She could also be suffering from Low Sexual Desire (LSD) which can be easily rectified by some drugs.


She could also be having a misconception of what sexuality is all about – did she, when she was very young and innocent, witness a sexual act that scared her, or did she have parents who kept repeating to her that sex is bad?

A lot of women, especially, suffer from the latter, the inner parental voice that keeps reprimanding them even in their adulthood and marriage.

She could also have vaginismus, a condition that affects a woman’s ability to engage in any form of vaginal penetration, including insertion of tampons, and the penetration involved in gynecological examinations.

This is the result of a conditioned reflex of the pubococcygeus muscle, which is sometimes referred to as the “PC muscle”. The reflex causes the muscles in the vagina to tense suddenly, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration painful or impossible.”

Whatever *Mariam’s problem is, Gacheru’s recommendation is therapy, therapy, therapy! “She has probably been missing out on stuff because of something that could be sorted out if only she could seek help.

The bottom line is, if her husband is physically okay, and not already cheating on her, a point will come when he will start feeling that he is being denied his conjugal rights.

If she wants to save her marriage, she needs to convince her husband that she enjoys being with him in and out of bed.

She needs to start enjoying being with her husband that way, and although a lot of times women have sex just to please the man, there must be, for any marriage to be sustainable, times when it is not just sex, but making love.”

One would also need to find out whether there is a problem on the man’s part because intimacy in marriage goes well beyond just having sex.

How the man approaches the whole issue and how he handles his partner are all very crucial when it comes to how a woman reacts. Some men are simply too rough…it’s all about them and never about the other person,” adds Gicheru.

Mariam and her husband need to talk to a therapist in order to get to the bottom of the problem.

Source: http://www.nation.co.ke/Features/saturday/No%20sex%20thankyou/-/1216/1065900/-/eu5l7d/-/index.html

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Kenya calls in FBI over police grenade attacks

Posted by Administrator on December 4, 2010

Police Commissioner Matthew Iteere

Police Commissioner Matthew Iteere

Police Commissioner Mathew Iteere on Saturday called in United States’ Federal Bureau of Investigations to help probe grenade attacks that left three policemen dead.

Mr Iteere, addressing a rare weekend Press conference at his office in Nairobi, said the seemingly coordinated attacks were being taken very seriously by the security agencies.

The first attack, which claimed the life of an Administration Police officer, happened in Nairobi’s Eastleigh area when an explosive was thrown into a police Land Rover in a traffic jam.

The two traffic policemen were killed in an ambush during routine duty. Police later engaged the armed thugs in a shootout at Nairobi’s Kasarani area.

Mr Iteere revealed that the FBI detectives were scheduled to arrive in the country on Saturday to assist their Kenyan counterparts investigate a possible link between the two incidents in which an administration police officer and two traffic police officers were killed in separate attacks.

“We shall do whatever it takes to get to the bottom of this. We have invited the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) to assist in the investigations. We are expecting them to join us later this morning,” the Commissioner of Police said.

The police chief said that the FBI was invited because of their superior forensic capability.

The police boss said that the two incidents will be thoroughly investigated and all criminal involved apprehended.

“We are sending a stern warning to criminals that attacking police officers on duty is an affront to the rule of law and will not be tolerated,” the police boss said.

He cautioned police officers on duty to be more vigilant but said the force was not worried about the attacks.

Detectives have so far collected palm prints of the two Kasarani assailants and recovered a national identification card from the slain suspects.

Police recovered the motorcycle used by the Kasarani attackers, a pistol, twelve rounds rounds of ammunition and several spent cartridges.

Source: http://www.nation.co.ke/News/-/1056/1066196/-/11h7qx0z/-/index.html

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When your partner leads a double life

Posted by Administrator on December 4, 2010

To the outside world, he looks like the perfect gentleman but beneath that carefully put-together front lies a completely different persona. Photo/FILE

To the outside world, he looks like the perfect gentleman but beneath that carefully put-together front lies a completely different persona. Photo/FILE

Walking down any street, you will see many men, most of them looking normal and respectable.

However, if you were to scratch beneath the surface of many of their lives, it would come as a shock to discover that some of these men, who happen to be people’s husbands and partners, have a very dark side to them.

Many women are living lives of quiet desperation, having realised that the man they have loved, lived with and borne children with are in reality, double – sided characters with a dark sides and mysterious side to them.

In a true story, one woman cannot still comprehend what she discovered about her husband of two years.

Cindy, 32, suspected that her husband was cheating on her. All the signs were there – he would linger in their car after work and claim to be listening to music while, in fact, he was busy making phone calls.

At times, he would go to the bathroom with his phone and make calls and talk in a hushed tones, as though trying to ensure that no one would overhear him.

At other times, his phone would ring, and he would appear startled and decline to take the call. Cindy noted these actions, and would scroll through his phone several times and make calls to all the numbers, missed calls and received calls, but no woman ever answered.

She also noted that her husband Leo had become extremely fastidious about his dressing and grooming habits. He had always been a nifty dresser, and that was one of the things she liked about him, but lately, he seemed to be going overboard.

He dared not miss his barber’s appointments, not to mention the new colognes he had taken to using. He even bought himself a new set of underwear.

One evening, in one of her spying missions, she found a packet of condoms in his gym bag, which he usually kept in the boot of the car.

When she confronted him, he vehemently denied that they were his, and said that his friend from the gym had asked him to keep them for him briefly, as he did not have a bag.

“I forgot to give them back to him,” was his rather lame explanation. Cindy was more convinced than ever that her man was up to no good. Later that week, she noticed that he had a bite on his neck. This caused quite a row between them, and her suspicions were raised even more.

At this juncture, she decided to do her homework and quietly hired a private investigator to follow him for a couple of weeks. The private investigator followed his clients brief to the letter, but yielded nothing to report after one month.

“Your husband is Mr. Clean, madam” was the feedback. She remained unconvinced and decided to continue snooping until she found out which woman it was that he was dating so earnestly. She got a different and more expensive private investigator.

Her patience and determination paid off, because as they say, if you want to trap a thief, take your time and be stealthy. One early evening at 6pm, as the private investigator sat in his obscure van near their home, Leo came home, changed into jogging gear and took off from their home.

When he got round the corner, he slowed down and walked across the road to some flats. The private investigator observed as he walked into a hidden bed-sit without knocking.

After about an hour he left the flat and jogged back home, showered and sat relaxing in the living room just in time to kiss his wife as she arrived home from work.

The private investigator thought he had finally cracked the puzzle, and decided to snoop around the flats, in order to find out who this woman was.

To his utter surprise, he was informed that no woman lived in the bed-sitter. He decided to observe the situation very keenly.

He took a hidden camera along. In keeping with his routine, Leo would leave his house to go for a jog, get round the corner and slip into the flat.

Using a long vision lens, The investigator noted to his astonishment that there was no “woman” but a young man in the flat.

According to Cindy, when she got the report the man simply said r that he had found her husband’s lover, and told her that it would be best to see for herself, so she took an afternoon off, and went and kept vigil up to 6pm.

True to form, Leo appeared and quickly walked into the house. After a few minutes, she went and knocked on the door, what she saw then is etched in her memory until today.

There on the sofa was he husband in bed. Her head spun and she slumped on the floor in a heap. She went home, packed, and moved out.

She is still trying to come to terms with the fact that her husband is bi-sexual, a fact she found out in the most dramatic of ways. She also found out that he was paying for the love nest near their home.

Many women have encountered other shocks from the men they live with, some of whom are dangerous and bizarre, while appearing normal and respectable to those who do not know them.

These women are often too scared to leave, while others have too much to lose by leaving, so they stay on to keep up appearances, despite knowing that their spouses have strange lifestyles. One woman summed it up thus: “My friends ask me, why I stay, why not walk away?

That’s what they all ask … they do not know how years of blows, bruises, tears and shockers give you not just fear in the present, but of the future too. Leave? For what? To where? With what? Moreover, who would care?

That’s why women like us accept our strange lives.” The following examples aptly describe some of the realities many women face, in the hands of partners with double lives.

•Husbands obsessed with foreign women:

One woman of Asian origin confesses that her husband is obsessed with white women and is always staring at them in magazines and in real life.

“Many Asian husbands cheat with white women and exotic Indian dancers known as Mujra girls, who are brought here to work in nightclubs.”

This man flew in a mistress from Poland, and bought her a house and a car. Of course, we never see him at home. I am married only in name.”

Another woman says that her husband cheats on her with African women. According to her, she and her family are considered social pariahs because of this habit of her husband’s because those in the community know about his escapades.

“This has a very negative effect on my children. We are the talk of the community and it’s awful,” she says.

•Secret society member:

Many women live in fear of the unknown because their husbands belong to secret occult societies. They do not know where he goes, or what he does, but they always have a deep sense of foreboding.

One wife noticed plenty of strange pictures and symbols in their house, and on looking them up on the internet, she realised they were occult symbols. She had previously thought they were just mere decorations.

“My husband wakes up at 5 am everyday and leaves the house. Whenever I ask him where he goes, he reckons he is going to a 24- hour gym at a five star hotel.

This I know is not true, because one day, I went and asked if he had been there, and they said no.” Living with a member of a secret society is very frightening for many women because of the mystery it entails and the scary stories going round all the time about people being sacrificed.

•Unknown sources of income:

Some women put up with their husbands’ strange ways of earning a living, some of which are unknown. Many women are shocked to discover that their husbands are wanted criminals sometimes of international magnitude.

Others are married to drug dealers, pimps, arms dealers, white-collar thieves, and confidence tricksters (conmen). It is interesting to note that these men look very normal and respectable otherwise. Some are regular churchgoers.

No one would guess that underneath this façade, the men are really underworld operatives, living double-lives.

Source: http://www.nation.co.ke/Features/saturday/When%20your%20%20partner%20leads%20a%20double%20life%20%20/-/1216/1065908/-/dy58vr/-/index.html

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