Habari Za Nyumbani–on jambonewspot.com

Visit www.jambonewspot.com…..your community website for more

Archive for March 4th, 2011

A school for wives

Posted by Administrator on March 4, 2011

Brides for life, wives for life session

Brides for life, wives for life session

For many women, the highlight of a bridal shower is being taught skills that will keep a man in their bedroom forever. But it turns out that the way to a man’s heart is still through his stomach. Add to that other acts of affection like ironing his shirts and polishing his shoes and you are a keeper for life or are you?

When was the last time you ironed your husband’s shirts? Chances are the house help does all that and more. But does not ironing his shirts and not polishing his shoes make you less of a wife?

This was the subject of a very heated debate with some male friends a few weeks ago. The men claimed that the reason why modern marriages were plagued with so many problems was because women had abandoned their ‘wifely duties’ to the house helps.

The men, ranging from those in their mid-twenties to late thirties, claimed that many modern women do not measure up to the title of wife; and felt strongly about the role of a wife in marriage.

And it is not just my friends who hold such opinions. My search for men with more liberal views about wifehood was dimmed by the kind of responses I got from the various men I interviewed.

If the men who shared their quiet frustrations with the Saturday Magazine are to be believed, then modern women need to be taught how to be good wives if the institution of marriage is to thrive.

The men were unanimous in their belief that, just like in the olden days when wives who had failings would be taken back to their parents for training, today’s women who do not measure up to the standard of a good wife should take lessons on how to be good wives.

And someone seems to have heard the men’s cry. Programmes are springing up in churches and other places to teach women how to be good wives. And these duties have nothing to do with expertise in the bedroom. They are those mundane and routine tasks that your housegirl takes care of; the tasks that our grandmothers used to do themselves but which the modern career woman has little time for.

At the Donholm All Nation’s Church, the women’s ministry has established that just because you found a woman to marry, does not mean that she will immediately translate into your ideal of the perfect homemaking wife.

The church decided to start a programme to train married and unmarried women a few tricks on how to run a home. In essence, it is a programme to turn women into good wives.

The programme was started when newly married men started approaching older women in the church to help them solve a few marital problems. The major problem for which the men sought help was a lack of culinary skills by their wives.

Florence Machio, a marketing manager with a research firm in Nairobi, supports the coming up of such programmes. As a career woman who has to juggle her work with being a wife and mother, Florence admits that more and more newly married women are finding themselves in foreign territory in their new homes.

“It is true that some young women do not have the skills to manage a home. Unlike in the past where mothers would teach their daughters how to cook and run a home, these days, the mothers themselves are rarely to be found in the kitchen. Housegirls do all the work in the home while daughters spend most of their time in school poring over books or when at home, watching TV or chatting with friends. In the end, these girls miss out on the opportunity to learn some of these wifely skills.”

But Florence believes that women should not take all the blame.

“Men should learn how to be responsible and to adapt to the new way of life. It may be true that men appreciate their wives’ cooking and many women aspire to cook for their husbands, but there are certain circumstances when your wife cannot be there to cook. Will the children go hungry because a man is waiting for his wife to come home and make a meal?” Florence wonders.

Patricia Murugami, a wedding planner, runs a similar programme for women. In her Brides for Life, Wives for Life programme, some of the things the participants learn are how to manage the home, plan menus and manage house helps.

Patricia argues that such programmes are important because they help women develop themselves continuously, which translates into better workers, better mothers and ultimately better wives.

“Although most couples are taken through pre-marital counselling, marriage is a full time job and both men and women need to keep learning along the way,” Patricia says.

On the thorny issue of house helps doing all the work in the home, Patricia advises women to set boundaries.

“Different homes have different circumstances, but I get surprised when I hear of a househelp who cleans a couple’s bedroom and even makes their bed. For me, a househelp is an assistant; you cannot delegate all the duties to her. Your bedroom should be a no-go zone for anybody but you and your husband,” the wedding planner cautions.

Patricia, a wife, mother and director of Executive programme at the Strathmore Business School, knows from experience that women, especially those who are working or in business, have quite a handful on their plates. But she believes that the secret lies in setting priorities and learning to manage your time. She says that women who take pride in their homes, and who value being wives, set aside time to do the things that pertain to that role.

But even as women juggle the different roles of having a career, being a wife and mother, the men insist that their wives need to do the seemingly mundane tasks if they are to continue being called wives.

The days when women used to clean up, cook for long hours, raise kids, and sit pretty in time for their husbands’ arrival are long behind us.

The modern wife is a career woman. You picked her out because she was beautiful, a go-getter, a high achiever with a good income and her own life. She works full-time from eight to five, attends evening classes till late and finds you at home after a long tiring day.

She has employed a dedicated househelp who makes sure that you find a hot meal waiting for you when you get home, that all your clothes are washed and ironed, that the house is tidy and welcoming, and that the kids have someone to watch over them when both of you are away. With everything running like clockwork, some women wonder why a man would still be dissatisfied.

But men who shared their sentiments with the Saturday Magazine explained that they felt more loved and cared for when their wives took time out of their busy schedules to do the seemingly mundane tasks for them.

Men still desire a woman who prepares his meals, cleans and irons their shirts, makes the bed and performs all the duties that pertain to being a wife. To the men, those little chores that women have delegated to their househelps are the very ones that separate an ordinary wife from an extra-ordinary wife; a lasting marriage from a short-lived one.

Samwel Kaba, 55, has been married for 20 years and he still derives joy from eating a meal prepared and served by his wife.

“I do not enjoying eating food cooked and served by the househelp. Even if my wife is not the one cooking, she should supervise the househelp and make sure that she is the one who serves me food and not the househelp. When my wife serves me food she has prepared herself, I feel deeply loved and find her more attractive,” Samwel says.

To Samwel, a woman’s full involvement in the running of the house makes her more desirable. He sees these little acts as an extension of his wife’s love for him.

“Women should understand that we are not trying to make slaves out of them. This is the language of love we understand. If your wife does not do these things, there is probably a woman who will be willing to do them for you, that is why some men begin to see the housegirl in a more alluring way. And if my wife is not doing these things, why did I marry her?” Samwel asks.

The jury is out on the traits that make a woman qualify to be called a good wife. Men and women alike have varying views on whether the ideal wife only exists in fairy tales. There are men who yearn for a wife who does all those loving things their mothers used to do, while some women feel overwhelmed trying to have it all.

On the one hand are liberal men who do not fuss over their wives not doing chores. On the other hand are the die-hard traditionalists who believe that a woman can only be a good wife if she does wifely tasks like cooking, at least once in a while for her family. But both men and women agree that these personal development programmes can make a difference.

Rita Mugo, who attended Brides for Life, Wives for Life, says her husband, noticed positive changes after she enrolled for the four-month programme, three years ago.

“Such personal development programmes help you become a better woman and this translates to positive results in every area of your life including being a wife,” she says.


Source: http://www.nation.co.ke/Features/saturday/A+school+for+wives++/-/1216/1119190/-/13bpgxhz/-/index.html


Posted in Features | 1 Comment »

Murdered man’s brother enters Kenyan jail in disguise, interviews killer

Posted by Administrator on March 4, 2011

The brother-in-law of a New Plymouth man slain in Kenya has posed as a human rights worker to gain access to the man accused of the crime.

Thirty-three year old photojournalist Trent Keegan was found beaten to death in a drainage ditch in Nairobi on May 28, 2008.

The story of his murder and the campaign to find his killer will be broadcast in a television documentary, Who Killed Trent Keegan, to be broadcast on TV One.

Scott McKinnon, Mr Keegan’s brother-in-law, and the award-winning documentary-maker Rob Harley interviewed accused killer Hesbon Amadade, but only after disguising themselves in a daring bid to gain entry to his Nairobi jail cell.

Mr McKinnon travelled to Kenya last year to fight for his brother-in-law’s right to justice.

Mr Harley documented the bid and Mr McKinnon’s frustration at a lack of action by the Kenyan authorities.

Amadade’s trial started last year but resumed again last month after a break.

He is defending himself.

He was already in prison charged with the murder of a Kenya Airways pilot in 2010.

“We just kept plugging away,” Mr Harley said of the campaign to find the New Zealand man’s killer.

“When we questioned the Kenyan police it sounded like Amadade had made a confession that he had also killed Trent.”

The pair saw a statement that Amadade had made to police but they didn’t think it was real.

“It looked too good to be true.” They decided to visit him in jail posing as human rights workers and using hidden cameras.

They managed to persuade one of the 3500 inmates to find Amadade for them.

“At first he said he had nothing to do with Trent’s death but then later on it all got a bit confused.

“It sounded like he was saying, yeah I might have done it but the only reason I would have confessed is if the cops beat it out of me,” Mr Harley said.

He said Amadade looked “like a hard man.”

The pair continued to put pressure on Kenyan police who eventually charged Amadade after a visit from the New Zealand Deputy High Commissioner in Pretoria.

Mr Keegan’s sister, Nikki Keegan of Oakura, said the Ministry of Foreign Affairs was keeping the family up to date.

“The honorary consul is attending the court on our behalf,” Ms Keegan said.

“It is a great help to us of course.”

She had no indication how long the trial would last but said the family had no intentions of heading to Kenya.

“I have no wish to see or meet this guy.”

Source: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/4730286/Kiwi-Trent-Keegans-accused-killer-speaks

Posted in Kenya | 3 Comments »

Amaya creates 13 new millionaires

Posted by Administrator on March 4, 2011

Thirteen Kenyans have in the last 13 days become millionaires after winning through a new SMS lottery.

The lottery, KWACHU 4848, that is being run by Amaya Kenya Limited — a subsidiary of Canada-based Amaya Gaming Group Inc — will end in mid-May when the winner of the grand prize walks away with Sh30 million.

“Despite what has happened in the last couple of months over some lotteries, we are here to tell Kenyans that lotteries is a global phenomenon that is guided by rules and regulations that any individual has a chance to win,” said Amaya Kenya Limited Communications Director Julius Arungah.

”]Daniel Murimi celebrates after winning Sh1 million from Amaya Kenya Limited in the SMS lottery KWACHU 4848. [PHOTO: STANDARD CORRESPONDENT/STANDARD]“It is, however, understandable that there will always be suspicion that somebody is trying to pull a prank on somebody for those who do not understand,” he said.

During the launch of the Amaya operations, the Betting Control and Licensing Board Director Amos Kwasi said the lottery firm had been allowed to operate after the introduction of stringent new conditions.

The new measures require that operators must submit weekly returns of the SMSs received, the amount of money raised, and amounts devoted to prizes and charity. The companies are also required to state to the licensing body how much of the proceeds they intend to give away to charity.


Amaya Gaming said they would use 15 per cent of their collections to aid computerisation in schools, five per cent to improve health care and another five per cent towards sports.

Records show Amaya Group paid Sh1 million application fee and another Sh1.5 million investigation fee, money that is used to investigate authenticity of new lottery firms.

Amaya Gaming began advertising in December, but the company requested for a deferral because there were many SMS lotteries in operation at the time. “Like any lottery, there is always an element of gamble,” said Mr Arungah.

“By participating, you can win or you can lose. That is the chance we are giving Kenyans,” he said.

 Source: http://www.standardmedia.co.ke/InsidePage.php?id=2000030394&cid=4&

Posted in Kenya | Comments Off on Amaya creates 13 new millionaires

Email Scam – Avoid Green Card Lottery Fraud

Posted by Administrator on March 4, 2011

Have you or someone you know recently received an e-mail claiming you’ve won the Green Card lottery and asking you to send or wire money?

Don’t fall for it – the sender is trying to steal your money!

Fraudsters will frequently e-mail potential victims posing as State Department or other government officials with requests to wire or transfer money online as part of a “processing fee.” You should never transfer money to anyone who e-mails you claiming that you have won the Diversity Visa (DV) lottery or been selected for a Green Card.

These e-mails are designed to steal money from unsuspecting victims. The senders often use phony e-mail addresses and logos designed to make them look more like official government correspondence. One easy way to tell they are a fraud is that the e-mail address does not end with a “.gov”.   

According to the Department of State website:

Entrants who completed online DV 2011 entries between October 2, 2009 and November 30, 2009 and who were selected in the random drawing are notified by the Department of State’s Kentucky Consular Center by letter.  Entrants can also check the status of their entries by returning to the DV website at http://www.dvlottery.state.gov from July 1, 2010 until June 30, 2011.  Entrants will need to use the information from their DV 2011 confirmation page they saved at the time of DV entry.

Entrants who completed online DV 2012 entries will not receive notification letters from the Kentucky Consular Center.  Instead, they must check the status of their entries by returning to the DV website at http://www.dvlottery.state.gov on or after May 1, 2011 through June 30, 2012.

The Kentucky Consular Center will not e-mail notifications to DV entrants informing them of their winning entry.  No other organization or private company is authorized by the Department of State to notify Diversity Visa lottery applicants of their winning entry, or the next steps in the process of applying for their visa.

For more information about the Diversity Visa Program, including important DV Instructions, see http://www.dvlottery.state.gov/ and review the Department of State’s Travel.State.Gov DV Instructions webpage.

For more information on this type of fraud and how to avoid and report it, please see the Department of State’s fraud warning and the Federal Trade Commission’s consumer alert on the matter.

Source: http://blog.uscis.gov/2011/03/e-mail-scam-avoid-green-card-lottery.html

Posted in Immigration | Comments Off on Email Scam – Avoid Green Card Lottery Fraud

Bernard Ndege, “I need to know who killed my family”

Posted by Administrator on March 4, 2011

Bernard Ndege lost all 11 members of his immediate family when his home in the lakeside town of Naivasha was torched during the orchestrated violence that swept across much of Kenya after the December 2007 presidential election.

Ndege, who was badly burnt and has since moved from Naivasha to his birthplace near Lake Victoria, spoke to IRIN about his daily struggle to make ends meet and his desire to bring those who organized the violence to justice.

“I now live at the mercy of others. People donate food and money, sometimes I benefit when the government distributes food to those who were affected by floods – this has become my life.

“Since 1978, I had been a fisherman in Naivasha. All came to an end on 28 January 2008.

“When we woke up on that day, my eldest son, who was 18, returned from a communal water tap to tell us he had heard other youths talk of war planned for that day.

Later, I saw groups of people gathered outside their houses. I heard that the Mungiki [an outlawed sect] youth were around. “A group of policemen came by and asked whether we had seen the Mungiki youth; they were told the group had headed to the highway nearby.

The police asked us to return to our houses and to remain indoors and we did. “We locked ourselves in and at around 10am we started hearing stones landing on our roof, I went out and locked the gate.

However, a group of attackers came and broke down the gate using a huge stone, and then they surrounded the house. We tried to repulse them but it was no use, there were too many.

“We were 20 people in total inside my house. I tried to plead with the attackers but they refused to listen. Then I heard one of them ask another to bring a can of petrol.

They started pouring it around the house; then the same man asked for a matchbox, it was given to him. He then lit our house. “As we kept screaming inside that we were being burnt alive, the attackers were also screaming outside to confuse any would-be rescuers.

This went on for long; I don’t know how I got out of the house but when I came to, it was 3pm and I was lying outside the house, half-dead. “The police came and took me to hospital. They did not tell me my family had perished.

I was in hospital for a few days before the police took me to the mortuary to identify the bodies of my wives and children. “Later, the ODM [Orange Democratic Party, led by presidential contender, now Prime Minister Raila Odinga] gave me support by buying the coffins and transporting the bodies home.

That is how I came and buried them in this compound I am now living in. Funds raised during the funeral were used to construct this house. “Later, village elders and my relatives helped me get a new wife. Now we have two children. The local church, where I am a member, has been very helpful.

They help me keep harmful thoughts away. “I have not received any counselling of any kind and sometimes I wonder why God spared me. Why didn’t he let me die alongside my family so that I don’t have to live on handouts like I do now? Due to the burns I sustained in the attack, I can no longer stay in the sun for long hours. This makes it difficult for me to resume fishing. I wish I could get help to start a small kiosk so that I can provide for my family. “Right now all I think about is how I have been forgotten.

Even the government seems to just focus only on IDPs [internally displaced persons] who are in camps. I don’t need help for myself, I need help with my young family, the children will soon grow up and they will need to go to school; how will I provide for them? “One minute, I had a house, two wives, children and all the other stuff that people have in their homes; the next I am living on the mercy of others, this is very depressing for me.

“The only crime I committed was being above 18 and having a voter’s card. It did not matter whether you voted for the prime minister or the president [Mwai Kibaki]. “My biggest wish is to go to The Hague [where the International Criminal Court has initiated proceedings against six Kenyans deemed to have had the greatest responsibility for the violence].

I want to see the suspects face-to-face. I want to know why the police asked us to remain indoors on that day.

I want to know which policemen were on duty and allowed our house to burn for hours on end without taking action. I want to face my attackers and ask them to look at my scarred face. “I would like to testify, be it in Kenyan courts or at The Hague, because I need to know who killed my family and why.”

Source: http://www.allheadlinenews.com/briefs/articles/90038217?Bernard%20Ndege%2C%20%26quot%3BI%20need%20to%20know%20who%20killed%20my%20family%26quot%3B##ixzz1FZzQsfts

Posted in Kenya | 1 Comment »

Kabogo loses round one in CJ case

Posted by Administrator on March 4, 2011

Juja MP William Kabogo at Parliament buildings on February 24, 2011. Photo/FILE

Juja MP William Kabogo at Parliament buildings on February 24, 2011. Photo/FILE

A court has ruled that errors in the Constitution cannot be used as a basis of invalidating key appointments.

Issuing a ruling on a case filed by Juja MP William Kabogo seeking to stop the Judicial Service Commission from originating names of Kenyans to be considered for the position of Chief Justice, Justice David Musinga said typographical errors in Article 71 should not hold back the process.

He declined to grant interim orders halting JSC’s work and ordered that the MPs case goes to full hearing.

According to Mr Kabogo’s lawsuit, the commission was put in place without following proper procedure, therefore it is unconstitutional.

The MP says that the appointment of commissioners violated the Constitution and set a dangerous precedent.

The commissioners were appointed on 26 October, last year.

“The President’s office misdirected itself by failing to appreciate the conflict under article 171 read with section 20(3) and sixth schedule which deals with establishment of the commission,” the MP says.

Source: http://www.nation.co.ke/News/politics/Kabogo+loses+round+one+in+CJ+case/-/1064/1119134/-/wo5lp6z/-/index.html

Posted in Kenya | Comments Off on Kabogo loses round one in CJ case

%d bloggers like this: